Purpose Amidst The Pain - God's Wisdom

Have you ever wondered WHY God has allowed pain and suffering into your life?  I know I have!  In July (2011) I wrote about my personal journey with chronic pain and said I would be writing more about it (as well as writing about living in circumstances that we find unpleasant).

The bottom line is that no matter whether you feel life is difficult, not fair, painful, or just confusing...there is often an innate desire within us to find the purpose.

In The Beginning...

I feel that to give you some perspective on my opinion regarding this matter, I need to first show you where I start when it comes to this subject.  I begin at the beginning....Genesis.  

When God made Earth and Mankind, there was no sin, no death, no separation between God and man.  God walked in the garden with Adam and Eve.  They had eternal life...in a perfect world.  There is a reason why we have an internal desire for a life without pain, suffering, sickness, and strife....that kind of world is the one we were first made to live in!

^"God created man in His own image, in the image of God He created him; male and female He created them. God blessed them..." Genesis 1: 27-28

^"God saw all that He had made, and behold, it was very good." Genesis 1:31

"The LORD God planted a garden toward the east, in Eden; and there He placed the man whom He had formed. Out of the ground the LORD God caused to grow every tree that is pleasing to the sight and good for food; the tree of life also in the midst of the garden, and the tree of the knowledge of good and evil." Genesis 2:8-9

 

 In Genesis chapter 3, Adam and Eve were tempted and fell victim to the serpent's lies and therefore ate the fruit of the tree of knowledge of good and evil, which they were expressly told not to eat.  

"The LORD God commanded the man, saying, “From any tree of the garden you may eat freely; but from the tree of the knowledge of good and evil you shall not eat, for in the day that you eat from it you will surely die.”  Genesis 2:16-17 

Once this occurred, it changed the fate of humans and their life on Earth forever.

God told Adam and Eve that their consequences for their blatant disobedience to His instruction would be physical and spiritual death.  Spiritual death happened immediately - Adam hid from God and was aware of his nakedness and separateness from God as he was afraid of Him for the first time (Genesis 3:8-13). Physical death happened immediately as well - His human body began to die once the fruit was bitten.  This was the beginning of sickness and death (Genesis 2:17; 3:19).

From these first human parents, our DNA was changed forever.  Every generation from Adam onward would experience physical suffering, the decay of the human body and the vulnerability of the immune system.  In addition, mankind would live in a different kind of relationship with God, no longer together in the garden...but separate and in need of a Savior. 

Additional consequences were given as a result of eating the forbidden fruit. Mankind was expelled from the Garden of Eden (Genesis 3:22-24) which was self sustaining and perfect, providing them with all the food they would need for survival via seeds and fruit (Genesis 1:29; 2:9).  Being outside of the garden also meant they would be unable to walk in a physical and unhindered fellowship with God. (Genesis 3:8)  The land outside of Eden was hostile and mankind would now have to work laboriously in the fields to provide the food they would need to survive (Genesis 3:17-19).  Women would now have pain during child birth.  There was also a shift in the role of a wife after the sin of eating the fruit.  She would have a desire of equality with her husband that would not be met, as her husband would now rule over her (Genesis 3:16).

Do you think any of these consequences of that first sin might contribute to your pain and suffering?  Would you have your current circumstances or trials if you were able to walk in the Garden of Eden, being in fellowship with God the Father and eating of the fruit? 

I had mentioned before that I believe that in order to really understand a purpose for our pain, we have to go to the beginning of our story.  Because of the first sin, and the way it changed the world and our lives, we live in a world that includes sin, death, injustice, crime, disease, heartache, and disappointment.

That is the bad news, but the good news is that the story doesn't end there.  God sent the Redeemer, Jesus Christ, and He comes to give us abundant Life.

"The thief comes only to steal and kill and destroy; I came that they may have life, and have it abundantly." John 10:10 

We are instructed that even though we are required to live in this post-fall world for a time, the redeemed must keep our thoughts and our focus on Jesus and on the eternal life that He has provided us through His sacrifice on the cross. 

"Therefore if you have been raised up with Christ, keep seeking the things above, where Christ is, seated at the right hand of God. Set your mind on the things above, not on the things that are on earth. For you have died and your life is hidden with Christ in God. When Christ, who is our life, is revealed, then you also will be revealed with Him in glory." Colossians 3:1-4

We also must remember that God loves us more than we can even comprehend...that's why He sent His Son to be a sacrifice for all our sins to take the punishment for our crime. Even after Adam and Eve sinned, after He had to destroy our wicked world with the flood...he still loved us!  God wants to bless us, and He made sure that would happen for each of us who choose to follow Him!
 
^"Sing praise to the LORD, you His godly ones, And give thanks to His holy name. For His anger is but for a moment, His favor is for a lifetime; Weeping may last for the night, But a shout of joy comes in the morning." Psalm 30:4-5

So, you may be wondering, if God loves me so much then why is He allowing me to suffer?  One reason He allows such things is because we are subject to the consequences of sin in our current world.  That is why He has promised us a new world that we will live in for eternity.

"Then I saw a new heaven and a new earth; for the first heaven and the first earth passed away, and there is no longer any sea. He will dwell among them, and they shall be His people, and God Himself will be among them, and He will wipe away every tear from their eyes; and there will no longer be any death; there will no longer be any mourning, or crying, or pain; the first things have passed away.” Revelation 21:1,3,4

The reason for suffering is 
not the same for every person or circumstance.  ONLY God knows the true reason, but the bottom line is that nothing happens in this world without God allowing it to happen.  That doesn't mean that it was His original desire for us (he showed us His original design in Eden).  

God does promise His people that He will give us strength and comfort to endure life this side of Heaven. 

"Do you not know? Have you not heard? The Everlasting God, the LORD, the Creator of the ends of the earth does not become weary or tired. His understanding is inscrutable. He gives strength to the weary, and to him who lacks might He increases power. Though youths grow weary and tired, and vigorous young men stumble badly, yet those who wait for the LORD will gain new strength; they will mount up with wings like eagles, they will run and not get tired, they will walk and not become weary." Isaiah 40:28-31 

"No temptation has overtaken you but such as is common to man; and God is faithful, who will not allow you to be tempted beyond what you are able, but with the temptation will provide the way of escape also, so that you will be able to endure it." 1 Corinthians 10:13

God will cause good to come out of all of our bad circumstances if we are His.

"And we know that God causes all things to work together for good to those who love God, to those who are called according to His purpose." Romans 8:28 

Sometimes God allows pain and suffering for the purpose of bringing other to Him or to bring Him Glory, which is a way of sharing Him and His ways with others.

In John 11 you can read the story of Lazarus, the man (a friend of Jesus) who died and Jesus brought back to life.  Jesus knew that Lazarus was deathly ill because his sisters Mary and Martha had come to Him and told Him. He was deeply troubled when Lazarus died because He loved him and his family. But there was a greater purpose, if he had just healed Lazarus in the beginning it would likely have only effected his family and maybe a few in his community, but raising Lazarus from the dead is a story still told 2,000 years later!



We may never know the details behind the 'why's' of our suffering this side of Heaven, but we can trust that none of it is a surprise to God.  We can trust that God will give us the strength to endure and if we let him, the courage to come through it victoriously.  We can't be overcomers without trials to overcome.  Sometimes the biggest testimony is to be going through things that are obviously too difficult to endure alone (to you and to those around you) and for God to give you His peace and joy right in the middle of it all.  


Having strength to endure, courage to continue going forward, and the faith to give all your emotions about your circumstances to Christ and replacing them with His peace, joy, and love.....these are acts that give Glory to God.  This process is supernatural!  It takes us laying down our earthly cares, hurts, and feelings and replacing them with supernatural gifts that come from The God of Love.


Focus on Jesus....someday you may know the reason behind the hurt, or perhaps you will lose your desire to want to know, but either way you will be in relationship with the One who made you...who also happens to be the only One who knows you fully and has the ability to heal you from the inside out.


My prayer today is for all of us who have suffered in our lives, that we would be able to stop focusing on everything that hurts or all that is bad and replace it with the promises of God.  That supernatural peace would wash over us...and in the middle of it all we would find Joy....abundant Joy....the kind that makes us smile.  May we take all of our cares to Jesus and ask Him to take care of them, knowing that we are leaving it in capable hands.  May God bless our efforts of obedience and may we bring Him Glory.  Amen.

My Struggle With Chronic Pain

A little while back I posted an article called My Invisible Disease which I got a lot of feedback on.  Because this seemed to be a subject that so many could relate to, I wanted to write a little more on the subject in hopes that someone will be encouraged or at least know that they are not alone.

I plan to write a few posts on this subject matter, so I thought that first of all I would give you an idea of my history so that hopefully you will see that I indeed have experience with the things that I will be writing about regarding living with chronic pain.

I suffered from severe migraines all through High School, College, and the early years of my adult life (they improved once I had my son, but I still have them on occasion).  In my early 20's I suffered for over a year with ulcers (not knowing that is what it was) and later I found out, after finally going to the Dr., that I had over 40 ulcers!  Of course that was able to be cured with medicine once diagnosed, but when I moved 2 years later and was still complaining of stomach pain and gastrointestinal problems, my new Dr. discovered I had gotten rid of the ulcers but now had gall stones.  That was an intense pain, but was relieved by having my gall bladder removed.

When I was 25 I injured a disc in my spine one day while bending over to pick up a blanket, yes...I was simply bending over, nothing in my hands yet, and I felt a sharp pain shoot through my body.  That was the beginning of a very difficult and trying time of my life...that has effects that are still with me 11 years later.  

My back pain began to get better but I began having hip pain that soon stretched from my hip to my pinky toe.  I eventually found out that I had permanent nerve damage in my right leg.  I endured countless treatments, and many surgical procedures.  In the end I now have what is called a spinal neurostimulator which is sewn into my spine and sends electrical impulses to my brain to help to distract it from the pain.  

I could not stand up straight, or walk straight.  I crawled on the floor many times because I could not stand.  I was labeled by my Doctors and Surgeons to be permanently disabled and the likelihood of my working or walking normal again were slim.

To say this was discouraging would be a gross understatement.  You see, I was a single Mom, trying to support myself and my son and I was also a woman who had found much of her identity (in error, but that's another blog) in her work.  This left me with internal struggles as well as practical ones.  I struggled with grief over the loss of the life I thought I would have and the activities that I loved so much that I would never be able to do again.

My prescribed medicines gave me terrible side effects, one of the worst was severe gastrointestinal problems (I had all the symptoms of Crohn's disease but was never diagnosed with anything other than IBS--which I've since learned just means that they don't know.  Again, that's another blog in itself.)  This left me at 108lbs, which for me is very skinny...my bones were sticking out and I had such severe stomach cramping, even after drinking water, that many times I passed out.  

It was horrible beyond horrible...I could not imagine living the rest of my life this way.  At this point of my life I was staying with family to help both physically and financially.  I didn't want to live like this....and I definitely didn't think I could live like this forever.  I struggled to find peace and joy in the midst of my circumstances.

I had never gotten mad at God, but had wondered WHY....WHY ME, WHAT WAS I SUPPOSED TO LEARN FROM THIS, WOULD IT EVER STOP?  

One day, while my son was in school, I was curled up on my bed crying (which I always saved for times when my son was gone) because of what had now become years of severe mind blowing chronic pain.  I was having a little talk with God in my prayers.... 

"God, I know that I keep asking you to heal me, I know I keep asking how long...when will it come, will I ever be 'normal' again, will I ever find a husband to love me (and my son) if I am like this for the rest of my life....BUT God, I get it now, you want me to just TRUST you...plain and simple...no matter how long, no matter 'if' my healing comes in this life, no matter what happens in my personal life, no matter how many more bills I seem to have than money to pay them....NO MATTER WHAT!  So, I SURRENDER!  I SURRENDER!  I see that I keep wanting control of the answers and you want me to have FAITH, so from today forward I will try my best to worry less and TRUST MORE!"

I wish I could tell you that I was healed overnight, I wasn't...but over time I was getting more relief from my implanted neurostimulator and was able (about 2 years after my implant date) to drastically reduce (and eventually totally stop taking) the massive pain medicines that I had been using for years.  And even though the Dr's were all insistent that these medicines were not the cause of my gastrointestinal problems, guess what....about 6 months after terminating their use....I was able to eat more regularly.  I gained enough weight to be healthy again.  And although I was still in pain, it was manageable.

I believe that the beginning of my return to independence started with the prayer I mentioned above.  A year later (now several years since my injury) I had moved back to where I had previously lived, had my own place, had a job, and was once again independent.  I was not pain free, but again...I had new expectations...I wanted only to have pain levels that would still allow me to function.

About 4 months after going back to work, feeling like I was regaining some sense of 'normal', I went to the Dr. because I had been waking up with pretty significant joint pain and having muscle weakness that had caused me twice to fall down the stairs in my home.  I was diagnosed with Lupus...talk about a blow...had I not just gone through several years of terrible pain and agony?  Wasn't I just FINALLY beginning to re-enter society?  

As my Dr. told me the news I could not help but to just cry.  I knew what Lupus was, I have several extended family members with it.  I just stared at the floor as the tears came down and I finally looked at the Dr. and said, "I can't do this again.  It's too much...it's just too much."

Because God is good, I believe that he had led me to this exact Dr. many years prior.  This Dr. has been through all my surgeries and major health problems with me.  This Dr. has a wife with Lupus....he gets it.  I will never forget what he said to me that day, he said, "Jessica, you CAN do this!  It will not be as hard as what you just went through but you will have difficult days, but when they're happening you will have to focus on the fact that they won't last forever.  YOU CAN DO THIS!"  

It has now been 7 years since my diagnosis of Lupus.  I have also racked up a long list of other issues, which include but are not limited to heart problems and rheumatoid arthritis.  There are a lot of secondary issues, which I like to call 'hitchhikers' that like to jump on the bandwagon when you have an autoimmune disease.

I was able to keep working for 6 years, and I no longer work, but I'm remarried and have the job as wife and homeschool teacher.

Because this is so long, I won't go into the 'how' I get through my daily life with nerve damage, Lupus, and all the problems I listed above, but I will tell you this....I'M STILL HERE!  Although I seriously questioned it at times, it is true that God will not give us more than we can handle.  I confess that I was really disappointed that I could 'handle' so much *smile*, but I did, I do, and I am....

I am not without pain, for sure, but I can walk...and they said I wouldn't be doing that.  They said I wouldn't work again, but I did.  My point is this, Doctors do their best to give you a diagnosis and a prognosis that is accurate, but none of them know for sure the plans that God has for you.  Even if they say you will never get better, they may be wrong.  Remember the old saying, "It's always darkest before the dawn."

Philippians 4:13

"I can do all things through Christ who strengthens me."

Just in case you don't read my later posts, I do need to tell you that without my Faith, and even more importantly, my Relationship with Christ, I could never make it through my days!  I believe I would be dead.  I had two times where I almost died in the past 11 years...and I believe that prayer is what kept me alive and sane.

If you can relate to my story...maybe not nerve damage, maybe not lupus, but perhaps you can relate to the pain, the struggle, the wondering how you will make it through...please be encouraged that it is possible.  After almost 3 years of what felt to me like hell on earth, torture, and a breach of the Geneva Conventions by my internal body....I was getting discouraged that if things hadn't changed by then....they never would.  But I was wrong!  (I've never been so happy to be wrong in my life!)

Years ago I had the following quote taped to my computer monitor - "If it's possible, it's probable."  

If it can happen for someone, then why not me?  Why not you?

Psalm 31:24

"Be of good courage, And He shall strengthen your heart, All you who hope in the LORD."

Humility

hu·mil·i·ty

Noun- the quality or condition of being humble; modest opinion or estimate of one's own importance, rank, etc.

As in all things, when I look for the standard to which I need to measure, I look to God's Word. 

If humility is a modest opinion of yourself and your rank or importance, then that makes it pretty clear that we aren’t to think that we are better than others.

At the risk of sounding too much like a teacher, (I am a homeschool Mom so it happens.) I’d like to check into the definition of ‘modest’.

mod·est

Adjective- having or showing a moderate or humble estimate of one’s merits, importance, etc.; free from vanity, egotism, boastfulness, or great pretensions.; free from showy extravagance in regard for the decencies of behavior, speech, dress, etc.

As you can see, the words humility and modest have similar meanings.  But how does that apply to our lives?  How can we have humility?  How do we teach humility to our children?

I have posted several scriptures on humility at the end of this post, it is by no means exhaustive as there were too many scriptures to list them all.  In those scriptures, you will see that humility comes with benefits and pleases God.­­ And on the flipside, a lack thereof has some serious consequences.  I believe that these are not just experienced in eternity but also in our lives here on earth.

As with all instruction from the Lord, it is for our benefit. (Romans 15:4) and this instruction for humility is no exception.  

I believe that there are many people who no longer wish to attend church and have a negative view of Christians due in large part to the issue of false humility.  We often hear the word ‘hypocrite’ used by both non-believers and believers when referring to Christians.   

Why would you think someone was a hypocrite?  Likely it would be because they have a lack of humility and are often also judgmental.  These 2 ingredients, arrogance and judgment, can be toxic and I believe we underestimate both the immediate effect as well as the long term havoc that this wreaks on the lives around us.

Humility is an attribute that will show itself in us more and more as we grow in our faith and allow Christ to mold us into His image.  Pride is an issue that is a constant struggle and is at war with humility all the time.  Although we are not going to magically wake up one day without pride and look in the mirror at a fully humble version of ourselves, we need to work on learning how to increase this attribute in our lives.

·      ­We must have a correct view of ourselves compared to God – It is foolish to walk around acting like we know more than God or that we are not under His authority.  We are made in His image, but since the fall and the introduction of sin in the garden with Adam and Eve, we have needed Christ to redeem us from the sinful pride that is now in us.  Without Christ, we can do nothing. (John 15:5)

o  Don’t mistake your ways as being as wise as God’s.  Even Solomon who was given supernatural wisdom because of his humility, eventually did not continue to obey God (he was building temples to other gods) and his pride overtook him and brought him to a place of sin and arrogance.

·      We need to acknowledge our sinful nature – Without understanding this, you won’t see your need for Christ, which then leads to your need and the benefits of humility.  Romans 3:23 “for all have sinned and fall short of the glory of God.” Matthew 15:19 “for out of the heart come evil thoughts – murder, adultery, sexual immorality, theft, false testimony, slander.”

o  Recognize that no matter how long you have been a Christian, no matter how much you have improved in this area, there is still always room for improvement.  In this life on earth, you will not hit perfection, so we must always keep in mind that we need to actively practice humility and guard against pride, even if you’re a Pastor or a Professor teaching a College course on humility! (I would dare to say that if you hold either of those last titles, you are even more at risk.)

·      Learn to identify when you are being arrogant or prideful – Arrogance happens when we see ourselves as better than others.  It can show itself in our actions if we patronize those who we consider inferior.  If we are contemptuous and hateful, overbearing with our ideas or opinions, or being condescending.  I believe that our flesh makes these things so easy and they can happen automatically without thought until we learn how to take every thought captive and make it obedient to Christ. (2 Corinthians 10:5)

o  Take inventory of your words and your thoughts (some of us are a little more sly with our arrogance as it remains mostly in our thought life, BUT it is no less terrible!) you will likely find that these characteristics come up in your life more than you would like to admit or even realize.  Being aware of when you are doing these things is the first step in stopping.  If you become more conscious of your actions in this area, you can correct yourself.

o  If you have children, begin to watch their behavior, words, and actions towards others to identify these same things.  You can then begin to point them out and teach them how to become more humble.  If they are old enough, they can also begin to pay attention to their own words and actions to identify and correct their own wrong thinking.  And as always, our children learn what they see and hear most…if we as parents are modeling humility, our children are more likely to do the same.

·      Don’t be easily defensive ­or corrective – A friend once asked me, “Jessica, what would happen if you just let my error go without correcting it?”  I was over corrective, I did it constantly (and I still struggle with it).  I did it so often I didn’t even realize it.  We need to again take careful watch over this area.  There are times where we can rightfully defend our integrity if it is an issue which will negatively affect our testimony as a Christian.  However, I am willing to guess that most of the time this is not the reason we get defensive.  Sometimes we just have a need to be ‘right’, but perhaps we need to let that go when it is not an area of true importance. 

o  We need to remember that our relationships are more important that being ‘right’.  If we are quick to correct or defend, we will likely push that person away and it ruins our relationship as well as our witness, both of which are a terrible shame and not worth it.

·      Focus on God – This may seem overly simple, but the more we read The Word, stay in prayer, and keep our relationship strong with God, the easier it is to stay focused on Him instead of thinking of ourselves all the time.  Thinking of our needs, our wants, our desires, our disappointments, etc. comes naturally….again, it’s a flesh thing.  No one needs to teach us how to do that.  If we are keeping our eyes on Jesus, what He thinks of us, what He wants us to do with our lives (or even our day), we are going to be more God centered and our thinking and actions are more likely to be closer to where they need to be.  It is so easy to be self absorbed, which can quickly lead us right into being arrogant and prideful.

·      Practice Humility! – You’ve heard the old saying “Practice makes perfect.”  I’ve adjusted that saying for my family since perfection is an unrealistic goal, and we like to say, “Practice makes progress.”  Next time someone pronounces a word wrong…let it go, if you have a disagreement with a co-worker or your Spouse…let it go, when someone gets your order wrong…don’t get angry at them…let it go.

o  When we do these things, we will also be able to find joy much more easily.  We will likely have lower blood pressure and a happier countenance.  There are rewards for obedience, remember that instruction from God is for our benefit…this is an example of just that.

My prayer is that God would help us to understand and practice humility in our lives, that it would strengthen our relationships and our Christian witness.  I am thankful to the Lord for giving us great promises for our obedience as He knows how hard it is for us to walk in humility.  I pray that we would each remember that in our own strength, none of this is possible, but with Christ, all things are possible!  Amen.

SCRIPTURES ON HUMILITY 

2 Chronicles 7:14 ^"and My people who are called by My name humble themselves and pray and seek My face and turn from their wicked ways, then I will hear from heaven, will forgive their sin and will heal their land" 

Philippians 2:3 ^“Do nothing out of selfish ambition or vain conceit. Rather, in humility value others above yourselves”

Romans 12:3 "For through the grace given to me I say to everyone among you not to think more highly of himself than he ought to think; but to think so as to have sound judgment, as God has allotted to each a measure of faith."

James 4:6  “But he gives more grace. Therefore it says, “God opposes the proud, but gives grace to the humble.”

Colossians 3:12 “Put on then, as God's chosen ones, holy and beloved, compassionate hearts, kindness, humility, meekness, and patience”

Jeremiah 9:23 “Thus says the Lord: “Let not the wise man boast in his wisdom, let not the mighty man boast in his might, let not the rich man boast in his riches”

2 Corinthians 12:5-12 “On behalf of this man I will boast, but on my own behalf I will not boast, except of my weaknesses. Though if I should wish to boast, I would not be a fool, for I would be speaking the truth. But I refrain from it, so that no one may think more of me than he sees in me or hears from me. So to keep me from becoming conceited because of the surpassing greatness of the revelations, a thorn was given me in the flesh, a messenger of Satan to harass me, to keep me from becoming conceited. Three times I pleaded with the Lord about this, that it should leave me. But he said to me, “My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness.” Therefore I will boast all the more gladly of my weaknesses, so that the power of Christ may rest upon me....”

Proverbs 11:2 “When pride comes, then comes disgrace, but with the humble is wisdom.”

2 Corinthians 3:5 “Not that we are sufficient in ourselves to claim anything as coming from us, but our sufficiency is from God” 

Proverbs 18:12 “Before destruction a man's heart is haughty, but humility comes before honor.”

1 Corinthians 10:12 “Therefore let anyone who thinks that he stands take heed lest he fall.”

Luke 22:24-27 “A dispute also arose among them, as to which of them was to be regarded as the greatest. And he said to them, “The kings of the Gentiles exercise lordship over them, and those in authority over them are called benefactors. But not so with you. Rather, let the greatest among you become as the youngest, and the leader as one who serves. For who is the greater, one who reclines at table or one who serves? Is it not the one who reclines at table? But I am among you as the one who serves.”

 

Romans 2:1-4 “Therefore you have no excuse, O man, every one of you who judges. For in passing judgment on another you condemn yourself, because you, the judge, practice the very same things. We know that the judgment of God rightly falls on those who practice such things. Do you suppose, O man—you who judge those who practice such things and yet do them yourself—that you will escape the judgment of God? Or do you presume on the riches of his kindness and forbearance and patience, not knowing that God's kindness is meant to lead you to repentance?”