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Showing posts with label Stress. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Stress. Show all posts

Are we so desensitized to Media that we are causing our kids to be also?



This is a subject that is something that I personally believe is important. I am by no means a perfect parent or example for my son, but even in the life of my 17 year old son I've witnessed a huge shift amongst Christian parents and what sorts of shows are allowed for their children.  

Recently a study was conducted by the Annenberg Public Policy Center of the University of Pennsylvania to assess desensitization in parents’ repeated exposure to violence and sex in movies. (the same research team that found the amount of violence in PG-13 films had tripled in the most popular movies since 1985 — and that gun violence  in PG-13 movies has exceeded that in R-rated movies). The study was recently released by the Pediatrics journal's online site on Daniel Romer, associate director of the Annenberg Public Policy Center, summarized the study's findings by saying simply, "We saw a really remarkable desensitization." In a separate interview, he added, "We were most surprised by how clear and dramatic the decline was to showing that kind of content to young people and the willingness to let their own children to see it."

Romer also noted that there seem to be increasing levels of violence in film these days, especially in PG-13 movies, and that there hasn't been much outcry or concern about it. "The rise of violence and gun violence in PG-13 movies means that lots of kids are able to go into movie theaters and see explicit violence. We wanted to find out why parents didn't show more concern. Why was this happening without pushback?" The answer, his team's research suggests, is that parents are desensitized to such content themselves.

In my own experience, it's a slippery slope once you compromise even once! It leads to new expectations of 'acceptable' by the child and often the parent feels stuck because once allowed, it feels hard to turn back. If we as parents are watching these shows all the time, how is that effecting our perspective on what we allow our children to watch?
 
So many children watch movies and tv shows that I would question watching myself. Even the commercials both scary and inappropriate get to be too much at times.  It is hard for a young person with amped up hormones (or an adult for that matter) to maintain purity when bombarded with sexual images regularly. Similarly, hormones also effect moods, and have we stopped to wonder if the violence is effecting the way our children deal with anger?  If you have a bad day then come home and burn off steam by killing 100 video game soldiers, aliens, or zombies....does that effect you?  I think these are good things to consider.

Are we becoming desensitized? Studies say yes, but most of us don't need to read a report to come to this conclusion. You could not swear on regular tv when I was young, often shows that had bedroom scenes (most did not) were still fully clothed and eluded to a sexual act instead of explicitly showing every small detail. What would have been R rated is now PG-13 or less and what is now R or MA is often outright pornography.

So, what am I saying? As a parent, take a minute to evaluate what you and your children are watching. If you don't know...now is the time to find out, ask them, most will likely tell you.  If you aren't familiar with it, you can either look it up online or just sit down and watch an episode with your child.  You will likely notice if there are parts that make you or your child uncomfortable.  Pray about it and ask for help in making these decisions for your family. 


I still watch some shows online and I have Netflix (where I utilize parental controls) so that we can watch some shows without dealing with commercials. And what I allow now is obviously quite different than what I allowed when my son was 8 years old, but I do desire to teach him that we are called to guard our minds and our hearts...It is not just a child thing, but a human thing. I'm "allowed" to watch anything I want, but not everything is profitable for me. For example I get nightmares even as an adult, so I know it is best for me to avoid scary movies. 

Are your children often scared or struggling with anxiety? Perhaps the things they are watching are scaring them? Remember that what is fine during the day is often scary at night. And the troublesome subject matter will vary widely depending on your child and the sensitivities of their heart and mind. For me, I can be bothered by a horror movie preview.  And this time of year the tv is just overrun with them. What if you could ease their stress by trying to make sure they were having their minds fed with positive things? Remove the scary and stressful (or maybe slightly too mature) content from their viewing list.  It's cheaper than a Doctor or Counselor and you may find that it causes your family to become more peaceful and even closer as you choose other activities to fill your time.

What do you do without tv? Play games, create art, find hobbies, listen/play music, or get active outside!   Think about it, talk about it as a family, see if there may be areas that a new standard of "acceptable" needs to be set.

I know I have been convicted of a couple of things just as I've been writing this post. Let's protect our families as much as possible from being desensitized to violence, sexual content, disrespect, and crudeness.

A question just came to mind: "If it's not something we would let our children do (within reason), then why are we letting them watch it?"

May God help us to keep our minds full of things pleasing to Him while we are yet living in a fallen world.

May God Bless you and your family!


* The following is a link to the Parental Desensitization Study
http://www.annenbergpublicpolicycenter.org/parents-become-desensitized-to-violence-and-sex-in-movies-study-finds/

Simple Prayer


I just recently posted a long Bible Study that I did and it took me many days to complete.  And coming back to writing on this blog, even sporadically, has been fairly new after going through some tough years when I haven't written much.  But tonight I was struck by the thought that we don't always have to have in depth, earth-shattering, revelations each day.  And I most certainly don't want any of you to think that I do that every day...because I definitely do NOT!

Today I didn't spend hours studying, in fact I felt very fatigued, I prayed for people I know, for my friend's daughter who is going to Haiti on her first mission trip, and I thanked God for my the fact that my Best Friend just got a wonderful job in her new hometown.  Our thoughts, our prayer, our writing, they don't have to be long, or something that feel formal, they just need to be REAL. That is it.  God knows how we talk and act on a day to day basis, he knows if we put on airs around other people or just when we pray.  He wants us to be comfortable and open, trusting Him with the care of our homes and families and trusting for the same for those we love. He wants us to be REAL with Him, REAL with ourselves, and REAL with the people around us!  We have to certainly be wise about what intimate information we share with others, but overall we don't need to act like someone we are not.  People will most often relate to you best when you are just being yourself.

So today I'm just typing what comes to my mind, just being me.  I have also been praying for the multitude of Christians being slaughtered around the world just because they believe in Jesus.  As someone who was basically just lucky enough to be born in America, I want to pray for those who don't experience the freedoms I am blessed with.  I want to thank God for those who are brave and who risk their lives to proclaim their faith in Christ or at a minimum for those who won't deny Him.....Oh Lord I don't know if I could be as brave as they are, but please let them feel your presence strong and let them feel your love and the love of fellow believers around the globe.

I'm thankful that I am allowed to post things on this log from time to time and I'm so very thankful for the thousands of you who read my blog regularly!  For I am just a simple woman, living an average life, with an extraordinary God!

"Lord, I pray for each and every person who reads this blog, I ask that you would give them renewed health, great strength and courage, and let them feel your Perfect Peace!  I thank you for not leaving any of us, you are with us always, but especially in our time of need.  Help us to be brave in sharing our faith.  You tell us that we are to live like you could be coming back at any moment, and I believe that moment is drawing near, help us not to be afraid because there are likely people out there who are close to coming to know you but they need someone to help answer some questions, or tell them that God loves them no matter what they've done.  Don't allow this to be a burden for us that stops us from peaceful sleep, but burden our hearts so that we step out of our comfort zone and let people know that we believe in you and help us to share love with someone new each day.  You are amazing and faithful, thank you for your mercy and grace which are new each morning!  In Jesus name, Amen!"

Be blessed my friends around the world.  I know that many of my readers are in war torn areas of the world, some of you living in the very Countries I mentioned where Christianity is a crime, please know that God has you on my heart to pray for.  And please know that by emailing me on the 'Contact Me' page, it will send me a private message where you can request that I would pray for you or you can share something wonderful God has done for you!

Know that you have a Sister in Christ who wants to pray with you, whether I'm in the same Region or across the ocean, with the technology of the internet, we can be partners to pray for each other, other Christians, Non-Believers, our Countries, and our World!

May God Bless you and Keep you,

Jessica

Living with Lupus

I have SLE, which stands for Systemic lupus erythematosus.  It is a long-term autoimmune disorder that may affect the skin, joints, kidneys, brain, and other organs.  Each person experiences it a little differently, but one thing is the same for all of us, as of today, there is no cure.




I originally posted this article on my other blog Mind Crumbs where I usually talk about crafts, homeschool, natural remedies, and miscellaneous life happenings. However, I decided to post this particular blog here as well because I have a different fan base and I speak more often here about my health struggles and living life with a chronic disease.  I know that many of you out there are experiencing similar struggles.  I'd love to get your feedback (comment below or if you want to communicate privately, you can fill out the form on the 'Contact Me' tab).

Recently, I was in a forum on a Lupus website and there was a woman who said that she had just been diagnosed with Lupus and she wanted people to share information with her regarding what worked for them when coping with the symptoms/diagnosis of Lupus.  She wondered if there were any natural remedies that help with symptoms.  Her question was basically, "I have Lupus, now what?"



My hope is that someone will find this to be informational and/or helpful.  I want to encourage people to see that it is not all out of our control.  And if you are a friend or loved one of a person with Lupus, try to be patient, understanding, and compassionate.  Spend a little time researching Lupus (not too much...it can be scary), and just remember that you don't have to FIX IT (you can't anyway), but just BE THERE.  You can't always see our illness because our own body is attacking itself from the inside out.  But just because we look like you, doesn't mean we feel the same.  


A great website that I referred my family to when I was first diagnosed, was http://www.butyoudontlooksick.com/. Read the article 'THE SPOON THEORY'.  If you have Lupus or a similar disease, copy and paste it and send it to your friends and family!  It will help them to understand why you can't do the same things that you used to.  My husband still talks to me in terms of 'how many spoons do you have left today?'.  (That will make more sense after you read it)

Finally, after all of that, here is my letter to the woman I referred to at the beginning of this post:



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Dear (name left blank on purpose),



I am very sorry to hear of your diagnosis, but I would like to encourage you that although your life will change with Lupus, it is still possible to live a good life.    You have to be careful what you listen to however, because when I was first diagnosed, several people told me that they knew someone or knew OF someone who had died from Lupus.  That was very scary and disheartening to me, not to mention NOT HELPFUL!  People just don’t always think before they speak and sometimes they just don’t know what to say and/or perhaps don't fully know what they are talking about.  But the more I know, and the longer I live with Lupus, I have discovered that the majority of people LIVE with Lupus...not the other way around.  That is encouraging.  For me, I have family members who also have Lupus, but even so....I still did not understand much about it until after I was diagnosed.

Lupus has forced me to slow down and to constantly be aware of eliminating as much stress from my life as possible (it is an ongoing process).  Of course every person with Lupus experiences it a bit differently, but one thing that seems to touch most people is stress.  Stress seems to be a huge trigger for flare ups for most people living with Lupus.  

I've been diagnosed for 9 years now.  I take medicine but some of the simplest and most helpful tips are lifestyle changes.  They are invaluable when you realize how important they are to how you feel.

IMPORTANT CHANGES YOU CAN MAKE ARE:

* Getting sleep!  If I am overtired or struggling with insomnia, my symptoms are DRASTICALLY worse.  And I am not exaggerating, lack of sleep can really make my pain much worse.  Guard your sleep as if it was as valuable as Gold.

* Reduce Stress!  Weed out dramatic people in your life. I'm going to say that again....remove toxic people from your day to day life!  When they are family, limit your interactions (especially when in a flare up).  Take time for yourself to relax (it's best if you can do this daily, even if it is just for 15 min's), let your world stop...put on relaxing music, take a bath, meditate, etc.  I am a Christian so I will read my Bible, but do something that allows you to 'fill the tank' so to speak.  This step is SO important!  I also had to stop volunteering to do so many things, I had to limit my time out with friends and readjust things a bit.  I began having friends over more than going out, or talking on the phone instead of meeting in person.  We meet at coffee shops instead of longs days out.  (Don't get me wrong, you don't have to stop doing everything fun, but you will learn your limits.)

* Listen to your body!  It will tell you a lot if you pay attention.  I find that I must pay attention before I've gotten to the place where I've done too much (like being at the point where I'm tired or my body hurts). I've discovered that I can overdo it and not even realize it until the next day.  I might be having a garage sale, going shopping, or just standing on my feet a long time and I feel fine while doing it, but the next day I can wake up feeling awful and dealing with serious pain, inflammation, and fatigue.  Pay attention as you live day to day and figure out what activities makes things harder for you or how long you can do certain activities without suffering later (this is a trial and error process but you'll get there).

* Eat Well!  I have found that eliminating processed foods helps.  Eat whole foods (foods that are about the same as when they get picked or harvested).  Eat organic when you can (I notice benefits from reducing the chemicals I'm ingesting).  Farmers markets are great.  Many local farmers may not be certified organic but they use as few chemicals as possible and produce great food that had not been processed for traveling thousands of miles via trucks, etc.  The farmers are usually happy to tell you their farming practices.  Buy meat from local farmers if you can (split a beef with a friend or two if you eat meat)...find someone who lets their cattle graze and eat a natural diet with minimal use of antibiotics.  Better yet....eat Venison, Elk, or Wild fish (be careful, some lakes and other locations can be stocked with farm raised fish).  I didn't change my eating overnight...its been a process stretching many years, but each change is progress.  When faced with a food choice, try the best option available.  And remember, eating fresh fruits and vegetables isn't just a better option; they provide much needed nutrients for your body. 

* Surround yourself with good people!  There is an old saying that says 'We are a product of our environment'.  While I don't totally support that saying, there is some truth to the idea that if we are surrounded with negative people...we tend to see things as worse off and it causes more stress (obviously a bad byproduct) and is unlikely to help you.  But if you surround yourself with people who encourage you, lift your spirits, make you laugh, love on you, and who support you...you are likely to be less stressed and you will enjoy your life much more!

The good news is that all of these things ARE within your control!  There is so much that is unknown about Lupus and varying ideas of how to treat the symptoms.  I encourage you to take control of your life, be informed and don't just expect that a Dr. will give you everything you need.  They just can't and I find that often they are just making educated guesses regarding what will help you.  Never be afraid to ask questions or tell them the details of how you're feeling or what hurts.  Be your own health advocate.  And getting a second opinion regarding new treatment is something you might want to consider as well if it is financially feasible

None of these things seem like rocket science, and they are all sort of common sense things that most people know....BUT don't be fooled into thinking that they are not important.  Even though we know these things, you may find it is much harder to put into practice than you think.  And as time goes by, we discover the true benefits of having these things in place.  You can take all the medicines that a Dr. can prescribe, but if these other areas of your life are out of order, you will still struggle.  I know this from experience.

I know this is a very long response.  These are just things I wish someone would have shared with me when I first found out I had Lupus.  I know it may seem overwhelming, but remember these are things to do over a period of time.  You don't have to change everything today.  I would like to also share with you that because I have Lupus and have made these changes over the years, my life is better.  I have way less stress, I am surrounded by friends who love me and encourage me, I value the things more that really matter in life, I don't take as much for granted and I focus on stopping to smell the roses (so to speak).  I'm far from perfect, but I am much better than I used to be!

One thing my Dr of many years shared with me the day I was diagnosed was this, "Jessica, you can do this!  Don't allow this to beat you or ruin your life."  I personally had a long story of medical issues before my Lupus diagnosis, and I had just gotten through 3 back surgeries and a spinal implant to help with permanent nerve damage in my leg when I was told I had Lupus....so I was very distraught when I was told I had Lupus because I thought I was finally feeling better after 3 of the worst years of my life.  I didn't want to hear that I had another thing to battle.  But my Doctor was right...I am surviving with Lupus.  I have good days and not so good days, but it is possible to manage it!

Be encouraged.....and know that some people with Lupus have infrequent flare ups.  And I've heard of many people who have adjusted the things I mentioned above and DRASTICALLY reduced their flare ups.  When I can manage my stress and environment well....I do SO MUCH better!

I hope that this helps and isn't just completely overwhelming. 


Best Wishes,

Jessica

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LUPUS TRIVIA 


The following celebrities suffer from Lupus:
  • Tony Braxton (Singer)
  • Seal (Singer) - A Lupus rash was the cause of his facial scarring.
  • Terri Seymour ("Extra" Correspondent and former girlfriend of Simon Cowell)
  • Nick Cannon (Actor, Host, Comedian, & Musician)
  • Tim Raines (Athlete/Baseball)
  • Portia de Rossi (Actress, Wife of Ellen Degeneres)
  • Barbara & George Bush's Dog Millie (Yes, that seriously made the 'celebrity' list.  Ha!)
  • Kelly Stone (Sister of Actress Sharon Stone, the two started Planet Hope)
  • Mary McDonough (Actress best known for her role as "Erin" on "The Waltons"
  • Michael Jackson (Singer)