Songs of the Heart

As most of us know, the Book of Psalms in the Bible were written as Songs, and not just songs that made it on the weekly top 40, but songs that were designed to Worship and to share our deepest emotions from the innermost part of our being.  So many times we can somehow say more with the same words in a song than if they are merely spoken.  Recently I have been reminded that there was singing when God created the universe....at the dawn of our earthly world and the surrounding universe there was music!  How wonderful!

Like many people, I can look back over my life and find music that I listened to at each phase.  When I hear those songs I often have an emotion attached to it, the music can bring back a specific memory or an emotion that might not otherwise come to mind.  And why is it that I can remember all the words to a song that I sang in Jr. High, but if you ask me what I did a couple of weeks ago I might not remember?  I believe it is because music is truly a divine gift.  Just imagine, it is something that God loved to do even before he created Adam.  The Bible tells us that the Angels love to sing but it also tells us that song is not simply just for humans and angels.

Rev 5:13

"Then I heard every creature (emphasis is mine) in heaven and on earth and under the earth and on the sea, and all that is in them, singing: "To him who sits on the throne and to the Lamb be praise and honor and glory and power,  forever and ever!"

When I came home from Bible Study a couple weeks ago I posted something on Facebook about this verse and one of my friends from High School mentioned that he might get a little freaked out at the thought of a singing cockroach.  His comment made me laugh but as I contemplated singing bugs, slugs, and all sorts of things; I just marveled at the thought that even the rocks will cry out!  Every single thing on our earth was created by God and if I let my thoughts fly without boundaries it makes sense somehow that everything would praise He who created it!  If you've ever taken Biology class in school you know that even a simple plant was created with complex structures all working perfectly together....and that even goes for plants that we identify as 'weeds'.  Everything was created with a divine purpose.

I love the idea of worshiping in song, and to me, this is one of the most personal and connected ways to worship.  My son and I like to attend a Christian music festival in the summers called Spirit West Coast - Monterey, and each year we make it, I have a brand new experience.  My first year at our favorite festival was the most impact-full for me, I remember the first evening like it was yesterday.  It was dark out, the sky was black with a generous spatter of stars across the sky and as the mist settled into the area, and the lights from the stage were filling up the sky above.  Thousands of people who didn't know each other were standing together all singing the same song raising their hands in worship.  There were so many people singing that you could sing your heart out and no one could distinguish your voice from the voice of the whole crowd.  At one point I was so overcome with emotion and as I paused I just stood there in awe of the sound of thousands of voices singing together, it was as if we sang with one voice.  I got goose bumps and tears of abundant joy ran down me cheeks.  I just closed my eyes and let the sweetness of that moment sink in.  Even though I didn't know any of those people, I was struck by the fact that we all knew the same song, we were all praising the same God, and I remember thinking right then that it would be the best time ever for Jesus to return and take us all home....I was ready!

Whether I am standing in a crowd of thousands, at my church, or singing in my car, it is all worship to me.  I'm so thankful that our God loves music and that He has given me a love for it as well.  I always knew that music spoke to my soul in a deeper way than mere words but when I had the realization that music struck my God in a similar way I found myself thankful that He shared such a wonderful gift with me.  It makes me smile to think that God knows exactly how I feel when I hear a song that I love and sing it out, or when I quietly listen to a song that moves me beyond words....my God not only knows, but he created the very thing that gives me so much pleasure.  As Beth Moore said (this is my own paraphrase from memory), "I can't wait to get to Heaven to hear the song that Jesus will sing to His Father as He worships at His feet!"  I can't even fathom what that tune will be......Rap?  Nah! (Sorry, I couldn't help myself....no offense to Rap fans!)

Next time you are singing your favorite worship song....imagine it being sung by a choir of angels as your backup singers.  And if you don't have a favorite one,I would encourage you to find one and sing it often!  A good song can make your heart sing even when life's road gets a little bumpy.   There is an old saying in business which is 'fake it until you make it' and I think that this is an area where you can apply this principle.  When you feel sad or grumpy, start praising God for being so amazing.....as you sing the words (even if your emotions don't 'feel' it at first) it will become harder and harder not to shift your mood into one of thankful praise.  You may not forget about all your worries, but you might just find that they don't seem so bad in light of remembering just who created you and how much He loves you!  Try it for yourself and see what you think.

God Bless and Happy Singing!

Here are the lyrics to a song by The David Crowder Band that reminds me of that sweet night in Monterey, CA (and I was privileged to see him perform this song live that weekend!  He has the best hair ever!):

Open Skies

 

Praise Him under open skies
Everything breathing praising God
In the company of all who love the King
I will dance, I will sing
It could be heavenly
Turn the music loud, lift my voice and shout
From where I am
From where I've been
He's been there with me
He's built a monument
His very people
So let his people
Sing, sing, sing

And it's so wonderful
Just to be here now

CHORUS:
Praise Him under open skies
Everything breathing praising God
In the company
Of all who love the King

Praise Him under open skies
Everything breathing praising God
In the company of all who love the King
Let us dance, let us sing
It could be heavenly
Turn the music loud and sing

Lift your voice to heaven
Lift up your head and sing
To the One who gave his love
This is our offering
Lift your voice to heaven
Lift up your head and sing
To the One who gave His son
Here our lives we bring

From wherever you are
Wherever you've been
He's been there
So let his people sing

And it's so wonderful to be here now
Wherever you are wherever you've been
He's been there

? WHY ?

Recently, I seem to be thinking a lot about the circumstances of life and how they end up the way that they do.

Why are some people healthy and others suffer with chronic sickness? Why do some people leave their spouses and their children? Why do parents who want desperately to have children struggle to get pregnant? Why do some people seem to lash out and hurt the only people who have reached out to them? I have seen these things and I find myself wondering.... Why?

As many of these questions have bounced around in my head over the past several weeks, I am reminded of a lesson that God began teaching me many years ago when my life looked much different than it does now.

You see, several years ago I went through a very tough time physically. I suffered for years in intense and unrelenting pain. I went through multiple surgical procedures in that process and as a result I was not able to keep working to support myself. I went on disability and had to move in with family. (This by the way was a very hard blow to my ego) In this process I had to give up most of my material possessions and leave all of my remaining 'things' in a storage unit while I lived in someone else's home. I was not able to do the things with my son that my heart desired so desperately to do. I was blessed with helpful family, but heartbroken over the lost memories with my son.

After a couple of years of life like this, I found myself trying to make a 'deal' with God. "God, could you please just tell me how long life will be like this? If I could just know that an end is in sight, even if it is still a long way off....it will be so much easier for me." God did not answer my question. So, after a few months I tried a different approach, "God, if you will just tell me HOW things will turn out, I won't ask WHEN it will happen. And that will help me to make it through this time." Again, God did not answer my question. Sadly I must admit that this wasn't the end of my questions....the next one was, "God, I don't even have to know HOW it will work out, just tell me IF it will work out?" (Oh the things we do in desperation) And yet again, God did not answer my question.

I found myself wanting DETAILS....I pride myself in being logical and so it seemed to make perfect sense to me that if I could just have some of the details....not even all of them, I could cope, I could find hope and joy and peace to make it through whatever was ahead of me....if only God would give me some details.

God did not answer me the way I so desperately wanted him to, but he did begin to teach me something totally different.

One day Regan was at school and I was in my room all by myself. I was in a lot of physical pain that day and I was curled up in the middle of my bed with my knees and my face on the mattress. I was crying....I was actually sobbing but my face was in the mattress because I didn't want anyone to hear me crying. As I pressed my face into the bed I cried out to Jesus and said to him, "OK! I get it, I give up.....no more of ME Lord.....You don't have to give me answers to my questions.....I need to trust you no matter how LONG, how TOUGH, or what the OUTCOME. You are Sovereign, Always, no exceptions.....I must lay it down at your feet and T-R-U-S-T! Please Lord give me the strength to do this!"

I would love to tell you that I had an immediate sense of peace and healing, but it was not that fast. God began a journey with me that focused on showing me that I do not need to know ANYTHING except for who He is. I can see that if God would have given me what I was asking for originally, I never would have stretched my FAITH muscle. I had nothing to hold on to but Jesus....my Jesus.....and it was truly all I needed.

Today it is almost 7 years since that day I cried my eyes out, and although I have experienced victory over most of the ailments that plagued me at that time, I am fighting new health battles.

My most recent issue had me worried for my life and I found myself once again crying .... because I was afraid ..... because I didn't know what would happen .... because the unknown is still a very difficult place for me to be. Oh how I wish that once God teaches us a lesson that we would never forget it in our 'faith muscle'!

I can say that I felt the still small voice inside of me reminding me that this was no different than the fears and trials before. I was reminded that God doesn't love me any less that he did 7 years ago, He is the same yesterday, today, and forever......and He will lead me and guide me whatever should come my way! He will not leave me or forsake me. In Him I find my Peace, Rest, and my Eternal Security.

Because of who He is, God is patiently working the "Why, When, & How Long" out of my regular conversations with Him. I am a stubborn student, but He is a wise and merciful Teacher.

After that long story I am brought back to the questions that I typed out in the beginning of this post. My questions didn't all have to do with health. I'm discovering that often when I find myself wondering 'why', I feel as though God is leading me to stop 'asking' and just trust Him. No matter what the puzzling circumstance, I can and should seek God to see how I should respond to the situation but then I need to quite my urge for answers and trust that as God sees fit, He will provide me with what I need to know at the exact time that I need to know it.

"Lord, teach me to learn how to completely trust in YOU and in Your timing, despite what I may see and hear. Search my heart Lord and help me to learn from the examples that you have given me both in your Word and in my life. Less of me, and more of YOU!"

Fellowship

Title: "Tea Friends #3" Copyright 2002 Karen Bates

Wow, I can't believe it has been so long since I have posted something to my blog. Good thing I'm not required to do it by an employer or I'd be fired.

As some of you know, I have begun the wonderful adventure of homeschooling my son this year. It has been filled with many emotions by both myself and my son over the past month but it has been an amazing blessing overall! God is so faithful! I will likely write a whole article on it in the not so distant future.

I just want to say that I am so blessed because God has provided me with the most wonderful group of women friends, many of which also homeschool. Fellowship is an idea that seems to be always evolving in my mind. It is bigger and better than most of us understand and there is a reason that God tells us to stay in regular fellowship with other believers.

I am talking to myself here....

When you are encouraged by a fellow believer, you receive the encouragement from the person who is ministering to you. And then you get a BONUS because you feel blessed by God because you know He arranged the opportunity for someone to be His hands and feet and speak to you! God cares about the details of our lives and I am learning that he often shows that through my friends.

And it works the same way when I am the encourager, I help a friend and feel used by God. It is so nice to feel God and to see bits of His character in others. It is one way that we can see the 'bigger picture' of how we are here to serve our God and by doing so we serve others and are served in return. When we are obedient to do this, we see how we are all threads in a larger tapestry.

Thank You to my many friends and loved ones who pour into me on a regular basis! I am blessed and I pray that God will help me to be a blessing in return.

His servant,

Jessica

Set me free

This post is a little out of the ordinary for me, but I first watched this video about 10 months ago and it was very powerful. It is a dramatization to the song 'Set Me Free' by Casting Crowns. I think these kids did an excellent job and this brings me to tears almost every time I see it.

Many times we think of people who are in bondage as drug addicts and other more socially unacceptable struggles, but do we stop to think that our bondage could be to overspending/shopping, perfectionism, pleasing the people around us, or one of hundreds of issues that are either more accepted by society or simply unknown to those around us.

I've shared this video several times since I first saw it and I must say that it communicates a message in 4 min's that would take me much longer to explain with mere words.

I hope this video blesses you just as it has blessed me.

(You will want to pause the music that is playing to the right before playing this video)

Please Lord, hear my cry!

Psalm 22

¹ My God, my God, why have you forsaken me?
Why are you so far from saving me,
so far from the words of my groaning?

² O my God, I cry out by day, but you do not answer, and by night, but I have no rest.

Sometimes we understand these words written by David more than we'd like to. There are times in life where we wonder just how much more we can take. If it is true that God will not give us more than we can handle then why is it that there are times in life when we feel stretched beyond what our mind can even comprehend? How is it that we can hurt so deep, to the breaking point and feel as though we have nothing left to give and nothing left for God to take? It can seem as though God does not hear our cries.

Recently I have had more than enough opportunity to wonder how much God will allow in my life before bringing deliverance. My life has had so many struggles lately that family, friends, and even those I work with have wondered aloud why God is allowing so many trials in my life and the lives of my loved ones. I must admit that I have wondered why as well. But you see, I don't allow myself to linger on that question too long as I have walked down this road before and I remember God's answer to me. For me, God often speaks to my heart and tells me that the 'why' is not for me to know or understand, but my FAITH in Him is the goal.

Websters dictionary says that Faith is the firm belief in something for which there is no proof. I don't have proof that God is working the trials in my life for my good, but I do have faith that He is....even though there are times that I cannot even fathom how a good thing can come of my circumstances.

You see, I don't often see when God is strengthening my character and shaping me to be more like Him, or when the faith within me is growing. Sadly, what I have learned is that for me I sometimes have to be brought to the end of myself before I let go of my own will and allow God to shape me and lead me. Oh how I wish it was not so, but my perceived strength is my weakness ....and when I am so weak that I can barely utter my petitions to God in the whisper of my cries....this is when my Savior comes in and makes me strong by His power. By His strength I am able to live through another day of tribulation....even when I don't like it.

It seems that the more I protest that I don't 'like' my circumstances, the more God teaches me that His perfect Will for me does not change depending on my ever changing emotions and what makes me happy. Truth is truth, and if I am a believer as I profess I am, then I have to lay down my ideas on life at the foot of the cross and tell my Heavenly Father that I will be an empty vessel and allow Him to fill me with whatever best serves His Kingdom.

It is the breaking of my own will that hurts so severely. My desire for the good health of my friends & family, the wisdom to raise my son to be a Godly man, a job that provides well, a husband to share my life with, my own healing from Lupus, and my desire for a more peaceful life and spirit.....none of these desires are bad, but the problem comes with my expectation for them to all happen in the timing and fashion that I have pre-planned. God's plan is rarely similar to my own.

As I type these words I find that my emotions don't equal my conviction. I know that what I profess is true, but there are days when circumstances just stink and we struggle.....I struggle. But even though God hasn't promised to deliver me from adversity, He has promised to walk with me and carry me when needed. He counts my tears, and in this I find comfort.

I began this blog entry with Psalm 22:1-2 and I would like to end it with verses 3-5

Psalm 22

³ Yet you are enthroned as the Holy One;
you are the praise of Israel.

⁴ In you our fathers put their trust;
they trusted and you delivered them.

⁵ They cried to you and were saved;
in you they trusted and were not disappointed.

God will deliver us, and may we each have the faith and patience to wait upon his perfect timing!

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=q5PgheXxLqQ